tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post5261098189995828493..comments2023-05-23T07:26:54.524-07:00Comments on Yes, She is My Husband: Integrity Well PlacedMarnihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17627512510408880545noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-84969574711508927802011-03-21T15:37:52.780-07:002011-03-21T15:37:52.780-07:00Lisainbc,
Natasha is still processing these fears...Lisainbc,<br /><br />Natasha is still processing these fears. Sometimes she says that she should have never started this process because of what it is doing to the people around her. Yes, the people around her are having to make adjustments, but in reality, there is nothing amazingly horrible going on because of her transition. When she does say this, I remind her that she would have remained miserable and depressed and not a good example for our kids. She agrees, but adds a "but still..." comment.<br /><br />We all wish none of this was happening, but it is and you folks especially have horrible fears of the unknown, even if the future will most likely turn out better for the effort.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :-)Marnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18383127758637225562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-13244391681905762812011-03-21T09:35:03.674-07:002011-03-21T09:35:03.674-07:00Integrity, courage, honesty, sanity, faith, persev...Integrity, courage, honesty, sanity, faith, perseverance... To these I would add desperation and fear. When my bell started ringing, I felt cornered by all my fears, which are too many to list here. Basically, I feared my life would be over the minute I started the disclosing process. But as irrational as this might sound, I was more fearful of a breakdown, and a not so pretty one at that. It then became more of a choice between what I feared most, transitioning, or having a total collapse. I chose to transition. In retrospect, perhaps the reason I obsessed with not wanting to have a breakdown was because I did not want to lose control. Something told me that if I had a breakdown, that's what I would be doing and that scared me too. In the end, I discovered that most, if not all, of my fears were unfounded. Like many of you have discovered, friends and family did not run away, instead, their affirmation, love and acceptance have won the day. I like this quote by Mark Twain: "I have suffered a great many catastrophes in my life, most of them never happened."Lisa Salazarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08817564919361664522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-67441016421627527332011-02-24T22:18:53.485-08:002011-02-24T22:18:53.485-08:00My bad. Diana pointed out to me that Lisa Harney d...My bad. Diana pointed out to me that Lisa Harney did not write that post. It was a guest post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-48606032555422579302011-02-24T20:55:10.138-08:002011-02-24T20:55:10.138-08:00Because Lisa uses the word "trans," it&#...Because Lisa uses the word "trans," it's hard to know exactly whom she is including. All transsexuals and those who consider themselves transgender? I can't tell.<br /><br />At any rate, I felt that she was waxing a bit rhetorical in that post. It's lovely in its way, but it feels over the top to me. I really don't feel that trans-whatever people inherently have more integrity than others.<br /><br />Diana cited Lisa's post in her blog today as well, so maybe I'm missing something.<br /><br />As Teagan said, we are often called courageous by others. I think that's the word people go for because they're trying to imagine themselves doing what we do. I do agree that the initial steps in transition take courage. After a while, what it takes more than courage is perseverance, through thick and thin, especially if the person's particular path is long.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-26514527905635686392011-02-24T18:33:56.681-08:002011-02-24T18:33:56.681-08:00I don't know, Teagan. That thing with the shoe...I don't know, Teagan. That thing with the shoe takes a lot of courage.<br /><br />It's funny, because I don't feel all that brave either. And thank you, my darling esposa, for saying so, but courageous is not a word I would use to describe myself, although I have heard it as well from others. <br /><br />I'm not sure if there is one word to describe what doing this means to me. Honesty? Sanity? <br /><br />How about balance? I'm just trying to find some kind of balance in living. <br /><br />I love you, my darling.<br /><br />xoxo-https://www.blogger.com/profile/12678823555927806259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-81676303970502244492011-02-24T17:01:33.222-08:002011-02-24T17:01:33.222-08:00One thing I've heard over and over from people...One thing I've heard over and over from people, is how brave and courageous I am. It is a very kind thing for them to say, and on one hand, I appreciate that, but on the other hand, I don't feel like what I am doing is really all that brave.<br /><br />I'm happy and excited to be doing what I'm doing. Those first couple times out and the first few people I told... that was a little scary and took some courage, I suppose... but now? Now, it's faith. Faith that I am doing the right thing, and faith in the goodness of people. I've found that most people just want me to be happy. People by and large are good, and virtually everyone in my life is proving this to me.<br /><br />At this point, there's nothing courageous at all about what I am doing.Falinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07006373893076810290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-80030596609149426882011-02-24T16:28:03.045-08:002011-02-24T16:28:03.045-08:00Not a poor choice of words, Sonora. I chose them p...Not a poor choice of words, Sonora. I chose them precisely. If you're assuming that I will "attack" ALL partners who leave, then you have misread my sentence. :-)Marnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18383127758637225562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-87771994459004963882011-02-24T16:21:27.333-08:002011-02-24T16:21:27.333-08:00I'm hoping your final sentence was just a poor...I'm hoping your final sentence was just a poor choice of words, but I'll reserve judgment until I read your net post.Sonora Sagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03656006414649269766noreply@blogger.com