tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post6447533900338142916..comments2023-05-23T07:26:54.524-07:00Comments on Yes, She is My Husband: More Than a FeelingMarnihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17627512510408880545noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-57694919430187823152011-01-03T21:20:59.156-08:002011-01-03T21:20:59.156-08:00Transition is all about the needs of both spouses ...Transition is all about the needs of both spouses being met. I learned the hard way that I just couldn't "barge right through that door" when I should have paused a bit more to do everything in my power to tell my wife how much her feelings are just as legit as my own. Reading your posts bring back a lot of the pain that we experienced. It doesn't stop me from reading, it just reminds me how important it is to cling to each other when possible, and to give each other the space when needed. I remember a friend once told me, "you can't be both the shelter and the storm."Lori Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01883850750657502492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-86397897992460040332011-01-03T13:45:14.101-08:002011-01-03T13:45:14.101-08:00Ladies,
I know that my situation is far from uniq...Ladies,<br /><br />I know that my situation is far from unique in terms of the stress and challenges of having a transitioning partner. I truly appreciate you all for adding to what I hope is a valuable archive for spouses.<br /><br />All I want is for people... especially partners... to have a voice in their ear that makes them stop and think about what they are feeling and doing. Obviously, I hope that I am shedding some light for trans folk on what their own partners might be thinking but are too afraid or stubborn to share.<br /><br />So many of you wonderful women have said that I am somewhat unique in my ability to remain with Natasha and especially to share my mind with readers. But I honestly believe that more partners are more like me... it's just that they don't think they are or they don't know how to tap into that part of them. We need to learn how to let go of what we believe is "right" and "real" and allow our minds to be challenged with new perspectives. Otherwise, we are stagnant.Marnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18383127758637225562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-1466417971526696492011-01-01T01:06:14.986-08:002011-01-01T01:06:14.986-08:00I've only lived in Tucson for seven months now...I've only lived in Tucson for seven months now, but I've heard it does snow here every few years. It melts in the morning, of course, but the mountains sure are beautiful, aren't they?<br /><br />I try not to get too carried away with myself, but then my girl is so giving that it seems she reminds me that I should get carried away anyway. Then again, our experience is different from many trans couples, in that I was already "headed her way" by transitioning. The girlish I get, the more attracted she is to me. There's no way for me to express how lucky I am. I wish you and Natasha all the happiness possible in 2011!Amy K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01731056254476935306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-52102098146594662652010-12-31T21:23:43.308-08:002010-12-31T21:23:43.308-08:00I love every time you post a new blog entry, Casey...I love every time you post a new blog entry, Casey, because I know it will move me. And you have done so here again. Believe me, you made plenty of sense.<br /><br />One thing you will need to do is to make your own needs known to your partner. She is understandably caught up in her new world. Don't wait for her to notice that you are acting differently. Tell her in as loving but direct a way possible. Let her know that she isn't the only one with needs.<br /><br />This was something my partner learned over time. She wasn't used to stating her needs. When I started to move too quickly, or do things that really made her uncomfortable, at first she held back for too long, then we had a fight and some crying, and things were better. I told her that she had to let me know when something was wrong, and over time she began to. I made adjustments to my transition, and she made huge adjustments to her expectations, especially when she saw how well this worked for me. But it was always important for me to hear what she needed.<br /><br />I'm better at knowing now without her having to say, but that's because I've learned to. Having been a man, for a while I wasn't very good at picking up on nonverbal cues.<br /><br />Communication is the key--both ways.<br /><br />I hope 2011 is a wonderful year for you, and all of your family!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-85679088864052894562010-12-31T19:57:25.658-08:002010-12-31T19:57:25.658-08:00Imagine knowing since you were three or four years...Imagine knowing since you were three or four years old, that you didn't identify with your birth sex. Now, imagine twenty five years later, that you had not only come to terms with your gender incongruence, but had discovered the key to gender congruency. Would you not be obsessed with becoming the girl you always hoped and prayed that you could be, and would you not want to spend as much time as possible with like minded sisters, who offered you their sincerest support? <br /><br />Natasha's time spent here is perfectly understandable, but your concern that she might be neglecting her relationship with you is also perfectly understandable. This has to have had a tremendous impact on you and your original vision of marriage and family. <br /><br />From what Natasha has written, I really do get a sencse that she has nothing, if not the deepest love and respect for you. I can't even imagine her not being open to any concerns you may have, and making a sincere effort to alleviate those concerns, if she is gently made aware of them. Please keep up your open ans honest communications. She needs then as well as you.<br /><br />You are one of those rare and beautiful spouses that I have heard of in this situation, that remains so very supportive of her transgender partner. This despite how painful it certainly must be for you. Do you have any idea how much respect that has earned you in our little community? You truly are a dear, Casey!<br /><br />Here's wishing Happy New Year to you and your family!<br /><br />Melissa XXMelissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04600684740584460891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-71337699379839364552010-12-31T18:44:26.055-08:002010-12-31T18:44:26.055-08:00You are right, communication is VERY important in...You are right, communication is VERY important in an relationship; both ways.<br /><br /> I watched my wife recoil sometimes in the beginning as she thought I was going too fast, I thought I was taking a comfortable pace; we talked. But once she saw how much happier I was as Sarah she knew that I was being conscious of her feelings as well as mine.Kay & Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04244257765709660605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-49196905823581106452010-12-31T17:35:47.216-08:002010-12-31T17:35:47.216-08:00The net is a life saver, no books can replace it a...The net is a life saver, no books can replace it as no net can replace a real life support team, team being the operative word when we go through this with our soul-mates.<br /><br />Caroline xxxCarolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133031265351841626noreply@blogger.com