tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post7234538465687282313..comments2023-05-23T07:26:54.524-07:00Comments on Yes, She is My Husband: CleansingMarnihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17627512510408880545noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-10686213751197319242013-11-13T17:19:47.244-08:002013-11-13T17:19:47.244-08:00Marni, I agree wholeheartedly that each person nee...Marni, I agree wholeheartedly that each person needs to be true to themselves and follow their own bliss. If the paths can become one, that is wonderful. If not, hopefully people can be loving enough to allow the other to be true to themselves without resentment. Luckily, I chose to marry someone who has always been supportive of my dreams and encourages me to follow my bliss as well. That realization is something that helped me come to terms with the possibilities ahead. I still don't know where this will all lead, I know it is going to be a tough road with lots of emotions, but I am ready to go down that road without being obsessed with the "what ifs" that come along.Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02765649680522814986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-52097377759911632092013-11-11T19:22:42.695-08:002013-11-11T19:22:42.695-08:00Hope you get into that program. If you need materi...Hope you get into that program. If you need material to adapt, I haz tonz of it.Kat L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08462076458175998789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-25155574570621088492013-11-10T14:46:10.970-08:002013-11-10T14:46:10.970-08:00Hi B - I'm responding to you here for both you...Hi B - I'm responding to you here for both your comment and your email because then I'd be repeating myself. :-)<br /><br />Joseph Campbell was my hero for a very long time. Then, I met a guy who took his Hero's Journey and made it applicable to storytelling for screenwriters. Chris Vogler, as briefly as I knew him, was nearly as inspirational to me. So your quote from him is something that resonates with me immensely. <br /><br />Saying and doing are not often the same. We become heroes when we do what we say.<br /><br />You said that you worry that your spouse may find someone else and leave you. Perhaps you may find someone else and leave him/her. Your worry about being abandoned by someone who is changing before you and asking you to change yourself in order to stay reflects that insecurity you still have. You won't find that bliss until you are willing to face that fear of either outcome and determine that your reason for being in your spouse's life, and vice versa, may be yet unknown and unpredictable by anyone. Perhaps that's the real fear: the unknown. That's what it is for me. I'm a control freak. I've since learned that there are things I can control and things that I can't, but of those things I can't, I can control what I do in that moment. <br /><br />I sometimes wonder what will become of our marriage. When I think about it, I get upset because on the one hand, I married the person I was supposed to be with forever... realistically. On the other hand, that person is not quite that person anymore in such a way that forces me to alter who I am inherently, and so there is just as real a possibility that I won't be with that person forever. I think that if that's the case, I fully expect to be "close" forever, but that still carries a weight of sadness. So, as another spouse says to me, we live in the moment. We have to live in the moment. That's where the strength to deal with reality resides. Writing a journal or blog can certainly help. <br /><br />But even living in the moment, we as the other spouse live in the moment where our other half is changing or has changed and that moment sometimes has relevance to what's happening. That's when it can hurt, and that's when we have to consciously have to find the bliss in the moment. It's when any self-doubt that's been drummed up by our spouse's transition must be challenged and overcome, and believe me, the further down this path you go, the more it will be challenged.<br /><br />Yes, true love is allowing the other to follow his or her bliss, but that's only half of it. You can't forget yours, or it's not true love at all.Marnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17627512510408880545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624094217975192456.post-22948919569437650142013-11-10T08:10:27.473-08:002013-11-10T08:10:27.473-08:00Oh, Labyrinth! I haven't watched that in such...Oh, Labyrinth! I haven't watched that in such a long time. My sister and I watched that over and over as kids. I'm putting my good energy out there for you for Wednesday. :)<br /><br />I'm also going to heed your advice and try to focus as much on the positives in my life and cleanse myself of the negative thoughts.<br /><br />This blog inspired me to start writing down my feelings, no matter how crazy, irrational, sad or happy they are. I am not a writer by any means, but to be able to get it out helps me in some way. I can see things more clearly afterward and feel it's my way of cleansing. I even spoke with my spouse about it and said that there may be times where I just need to organize my thoughts and would need some space to do that. It doesn't mean I'm not being supportive, but I need to allow myself to go through all the feelings without having to censor myself for fear of hurting someone's feelings. I feel like when I don't take my time to really think about why I'm feeling a certain way and we're talking about emotional issues, everything just pours out at once and I can't be as rational about it. Our spouses need our support and love, but we also have tremendous fears and insecurities that need to be addressed. <br /><br />It's scary to watch the person you love letting go of their own fears and following their heart to become their true selves. For me, I have the fear that as things change, maybe my spouse won't want me anymore. Maybe she will find other connections to people that will break our bond. I think that's probably true of any couple where one person is trying to make a fundamental change about themselves. Hopefully, the spouse can recognize that and reassure the other that although they need to make their lives the best it can be, the bond can still be there. <br /><br />Something I always found inspirational:<br />“Follow your bliss.<br />If you do follow your bliss,<br />you put yourself on a kind of track<br />that has been there all the while waiting for you,<br />and the life you ought to be living<br />is the one you are living.<br />When you can see that,<br />you begin to meet people<br />who are in the field of your bliss,<br />and they open the doors to you.<br />I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid,<br />and doors will open<br />where you didn't know they were going to be.<br />If you follow your bliss,<br />doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else."<br /><br />― Joseph Campbell<br /><br />So I am cleansing. I am going to look at the positive and know that true love is allowing another to follow their bliss.Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02765649680522814986noreply@blogger.com