Saturday, December 4, 2010

My Husband is a Girl...

Welcome to my latest attempt at creating a journal for things going on in my life. I think that, although the other two were very important subjects to me, this one is not only just as important, it is focuses on a subject about which I have a lot to say that I don't think many other people in my position are saying publicly or, sadly, privately.

My husband is transsexual. He... she... has Gender Identity Disorder. I assume she has Harry Benjamin's Syndrome. I have chosen to stay with her throughout this long transitional process. When it is done, I do not know how I will feel. However, it is safe to say that I love my husband enough to believe in our relationship over the long, difficult haul. I will probably stay and be quite happy.

So, this blog will first get you caught up on the last eighteen months. She told me in June of 2009. It took me this long to figure out that I needed to write about this as much for my own sanity as for my desire to add to the conversation about transsexualism. And then, I will continue into the future when I can, reporting my feelings and those events that influence them.

This blog is, I hope, going to be one that will bring hope to both transsexuals and their partners and families. I think that even cross dressers and their families might benefit, as well as any family in which someone finally comes to terms with the fact that he or she is not exactly who she or he wanted to be, or convinced him/herself who she or he was. This is for the loved ones who know in their hearts that this was not a choice.

I hope it becomes what I wish it to be: it being the blog... and my marriage. :-)

Just as an aside, please forgive me if I slip into calling my husband him sometimes. She still presents male much of the time and, after over nine years, habits are hard to break.


- said...

I know you're working on the pronouns and I appreciate it. I'm incredibly happy you've started this.



Halle said...

I'm looking forward to reading your experiences and feelings about it all.
Welcome to our little corner of Blogistan.


Kathryn Dumke said...

Hello, it wonderful that you have come and begun this conversation. May I pull up a seat and join?



Caroline said...

It is wonderful that you have chosen to give a different perspective on this subject and it will hopefully help clarify your ideas and record their evolution. Those of us who have supportive partners are the lucky ones. The transitioner would appear to be the one most likely to maintain the family unit but this often not the final outcome. I have been lucky to retain the love and affection of a partner who has been with me for half my lifetime, may you two be as lucky.

Google has decided to loose my picture, sorry.

Caroline xxx

Jenny said...

Welcome Casey. I hope I can persuade my wife to follow your writings, she's normally reticent about following me into the blogosphere.

Marni said...

Thank you all for your kind welcome.

@Jenny, I hope so, too. There is not a lot of experiential information for spouses out there, and most of what is out there either has a bad ending or is written by transfolk with the hope of convincing us. Spouses/significant others need to hear it from people who are in the same boat, right? :-D

Marni said...

BTW, Halle -

I LOVE "Blogistan"!!!

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you writing, Casey. I have particular empathy for partners. I've been following Tasha's blog for a while now, and I'm looking forward to reading your take on the process.

My partner and I are still going strong coming up on a year after surgery, but it wasn't easy getting here. Best wishes to you!

Anne said...

Yes Casey.


Samantha Shanti said...

Hello Casey and welcome. Blogistan eh? Never really thought of that, but I too like it.

I found my way to you because Natasha started following my blog, and I like to return the favor when I can.

You are very brave, very strong, and from what I've read so far, you have a wonderful heart.

I'm strange as people go, or in this case, come, to your little corner of blogistan. I can relate to both you, and Natasha. But that's not really that important right now, be it enough said I was married to someone trans as well.

Anyway, welcome!