Hello, my amazing readers.
I don't have much to report personally, except to say that Natasha is scared. She's not exactly letting it run her life. Because she's already an introvert and doesn't feel that she has more than a couple of people in her life she feels are actually friends, the tragedy in Orlando and the near tragedy that could have happened here in L.A. this past weekend has compounded things and now she feels more "clockable" than ever.
Yeah, I've got some personal stuff going on. I got let go from my teaching job for no reason. I'm still struggling with my self image. My cornea transplant is acting up. Carbohydrates are now my worst enemies. But compared to the bigger picture, that's not so much.
I worry about my kids, now that they are growing up and now that they will be going to a school with other kids and adults and potential homicidal nutjobs. I worry about the stupidity that exists in our country on so many levels.
I just want you all to know that I'm sorry. I hate most people for this very reason. Most people are truly unintelligent, uninformed, and blind. Most people do what they're told. Most people never ask questions or ask for help. Most people blame others for their problems and take no responsibility for their actions. Most people take credit for other people's actions. Most people are selfish and short-sighted. Most people are lemmings. They're not all heterosexual. They're not all cis. Most are, though, by virtue of the fact that there are more of us than there are of you. I'm sorry that fear is more public. Fear has a place on social media. Fear has access to military-grade weapons.
I say fear and not hate because hate is one by-product of fear. Fear spawns hate, not the other way around. When we fear something, we either seek to understand it or we seek to eliminate it. Rational people who want to eliminate something they fear will just avoid that thing that frightens us. Stupid people will try to kill it off because everybody else must fear it, too. People who fear something hate it because they don't understand it because it is different from what they know and therefore they fear it. I'm sorry that you are feared. I'm sorry that anyone is feared because of a lack of understanding.
I am thinking about all of you out there, even if I don't know you. I can say that I, truly, hate so much of the world because I do fear it. I fear it because I do understand it. I am legitimately on the defensive, and I'm not really a target except possibly because I don't believe in a god. I am defensive because these same people are the ones who would vote for a fearful idiot with too much money and who would believe that humans have nothing to do with the slow genocide of Arctic life dependent on the ice and snow that is melting away. My children have to grow up in this world, and I fear for them. I am thinking of you in this world, and I hope that you are okay. I hope that you don't let fear keep you from living a good life. I may not know you, but if I can do something to make this world even a tiny bit better for you, I will. I will continue to go out into this world and be informed, do what is right, ask questions, take responsibility, and face my fear. I understand if you can't do that right now, but if you can't, I ask that you not let "them" win by working toward doing what they cannot.
